Absolute Obedience

Welcome, one and all, to our little Agency. I'm sure that at one time or another, you've felt frustrated by the actions of a certain troublesome individual, who always seems to make your life more difficult. You know the feeling -- through no fault of your own, your every step is hindered by the actions of someone who's been born onto this Earth just to trip you up?

That's where our Agency comes in. With just one word from you, our special volunteer staff will happily lay a complex trap for the individual who causes you so much frustration, and exact sweet revenge on the troublemaker for you, turning their life into exactly the kind of living hell you want. We'll make them surrender totally to our will, force them into absolute obedience while we punish them for the crime of tormenting you. Of course, we use the word "volunteer" loosely. Payment is always required for our services, but don't worry -- we'll never ask you for money.

[From Peach Princess]